Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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