he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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