dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize