I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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