Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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