Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
