Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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