Yo dont text me then not text me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
