What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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