if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
