it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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