Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
