i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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