i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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