Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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