i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
