There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
