found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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