I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you win again, gameday.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
