I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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