We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
