she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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