i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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