Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
