none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
