I met the friendliest cop last night
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Shame - the story of my life.
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