guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Its about making memories worth repressing
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
