Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
