It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize