I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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