he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You may now shotgun with the bride
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
