All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its not stalking. its research.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
