yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
someone owes me an orgasm
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
