You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
