So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
