The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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