I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
