I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
