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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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