I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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