A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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