Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
third nipple confirmed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
