you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
