If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
