I want to stick my p in your. b.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize