I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
