i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
