How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
