Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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