It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
