I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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