Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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