if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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