I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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