Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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