new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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