I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
