never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize