When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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