but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
